My summer freedom is nearly within my grasp; only three class days and three days of finals to go, another week and a half after that, and then I'm free of Addison, free of high school, and on my way to college. I can almost taste what it will be like; the work will be hard but I know everything is going to be phenomenally different. Graduation was so close and, though I thought I would start to become sentimental, I have not. I want to leave, to get out of that institution founded on nothing more than money and bad politics. I can shake off the last vestiges of forced education and can now pursue what I want. I can get away from those who cling to me, those who anger me beyond reason, and start over again, especially once I'm in Binghamton. I've become someone I never wanted to be while here in Addison, but going away, leaving it all behind, is my chance to start over, to meet new people and to work at changing myself.

I look forward to it immensely.

I've stopped taking my medication; I haven't swallowed my white 'happy' pill in nearly a month and a half, ever since I got my new job, and I've managed to maintain a somewhat-stable emotional being within myself. I needed hard work to keep me occupied and wear me out. Before, I had too much time to think about things, to manipulate others and belittle myself. I'm better without medication, I think, and it's helped my writing in an extraordinary manner. I am no longer an emotional train wreck when I write, like I was on my newest medication. Now, I can make a calm, clear point without letting my own personal biases to cloud the issue. It's a beautiful feeling.

I have a feeling that this summer is going to be a lot like the summer before 9th grade. It was a glorious summer here in Upstate New York, with plenty of rain and heat to make things wondrous. I have been reminiscing a lot about my childhood the last couple weeks and the summers I've been through before. This summer, I'm returning to my roots a bit, and I'm going to work on me and what it is that needs to be fixed. Hopefully, I'll be able to get everything in order before my first semester of college starts.

I know I'll do it. I have high hopes for myself after I graduate; to fail at fulfilling my ultimate desires would be, to me, absolutely unbearable.

Random song quote: "Can't take the kid from the fight; take the fight from the kid."

--Snyder