Mema's back home! That makes me happy. She wasn't at all pleased about being in the hospital. I can tell you, after having that scare early Tuesday morning, I've definitely realized how much she means to me. I've informed her she's not allowed to kick the bucket until I graduate, though I'd be happier if it went years past that. I visited her Tuesday during 8th and 9th period and she was thrilled. It felt good to make her so happy. I really need to go see her more; she gets so lonely.

Things have been all right around the house lately. Dad's been taking his meds (damn his random urges not to) and even Mum's been bouncier than normal, despite the fact that her medication isn't working anymore. I'm all right too. I've been down and out for a few days, sick from a slight attack of bronchitis and then giving blood, but things are going well. Everything's calm and I haven't heard a raised voice in days. Even I've been better; I've been adamant about taking my pills and I've been doing what I can to help out around the house. Mum asks me to do something now and I do it without complaint. I suppose you could say I'm learning the value of obediance, at least when it comes to parents. Doing what I'm told just makes things run smoother here, even if my soul is screaming...

I'm content with where I am but... I'm not sure if this contentment is the kind of happy content most people feel. I'm pleased that there's not drama in my house; I'm pleased there's not drama with my friends. Still... I'm not sure if I'm actually happy. I feel like I'm bending over backwards sometimes just to hold everything together here. It's then when I feel most like I want to snap, and just stop trying to make things work and let it fall apart. Maybe it'd be better if things fell apart. Maybe Mum would be happier if she divorced Dad; maybe I'd be happier if that happened.

I don't know.

What's really got me worried at the moment is Court. She's been having some issues in Mansfield and it's just been stressing her out way too much. She's such a sweetheart and I swear, she's the sister I never had. She doesn't deserve what's been happening to her. At least she's coming over tomorrow night; we can just chill out, and she can unwind and forget about what's going on at college for one night. We'll watch Boondock and get a pack of cigarettes and talk. It'll be good for her to relax, just kick back for the weekend and not worry. She needs it.

It'll be good to be with Court this weekend. I miss her terribly. :) *huggles teh Courtney*

I suppose I'll bow out for now. I've got some Degrassi to watch, and then some banana bread to eat. XD Love that stuff, banana bread...

Random song quote: "Welcome to the universe."

--Snyder